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The solution to low self-esteem is simple

But there’s something I like to do and I think others should as well. It’s called: ‘Not giving a shit!’ Seriously, just not caring what everyone thinks of you because usually the people who disapprove are the ones who you really don’t care about anyway. I know it’s hard to do. You could start your day off by looking in the mirror and thinking, “Yeah, I look hot today. Anyone would be lucky to date me!” And then you walk into that high school and you see one girl that has a cuter outfit. Okay, that’s fine, you still look good, regardless. Then you see another one but she’s in really good shape and you think that she can wear her clothes with confidence because they don’t show any fat. So you put on a jacket to cover your stomach just in case. Then there’s a girl that’s not wearing any make-up and looks gorgeous. You’re wearing make-up and you’re still not as pretty as her so you put on your sunglasses. And all of a sudden you’re hiding in the corner of your class, covered up and hoping no one notices you for the rest of the day. You went from expecting people to stare and gawk at you to wanting to be invisible. Your opinion of yourself changed within a few minutes just because you cared about other people’s opinions of you. 

 
I like to be the person that always makes fun of themselves and that (ironically) thinks I’m all that and a bag of chips. Ironically because…I’m really not. But this makes every day fun. Like most, there are many things I don’t like about myself, but I don’t go around moping about it. I’ll make jokes about my weight and when I’m wearing a particularly cute outfit I don’t hesitate to tell people how adorable I look. People should be comfortable enough to at least do that. To be able to laugh at themselves and accept the way they look and roll with it instead of doing a million things to change themselves. I’m a particularly lazy person and this arrangement seems a lot easier to me. (Plus, worrying makes you break out and that’s just one more thing to hate about yourself.)
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The Back Story of a (Supposed) Gay Girl

Coming from a family that was composed of a beautiful, could-be model, older sister that was a mom at the age of 18 and mother that lost her virginity at the age of 13, my self-esteem was always below average. Not that I strive to make the choices my mother made. I really don’t, not the bad ones anyway. But when your mom is so used to associating with members of the opposite gender and expressing her sexuality, you get somewhat high expectations brought on you. Take my sister, for example. Ever since I can remember she was always the outgoing, pretty one. Being three years older than me, I’m bound to get jealous of her anyway. But she always dated guys throughout middle school and high school. She was the one people gawked at when we went to the pool or out of town. She even got offered a modeling career and turned it down. I never really took it to heart. I was still the shy one back then. But then my mom made a comment that was probably supposed to be nonchalant but it stuck with me for years. I can’t remember who she was talking to or how they even got on this subject. Just that I was probably about 13 or 14 years old. She said that I had always been known as the smart one while my sister was always the good looking one. What also makes me believe that she meant nothing by this is the fact that I look almost exactly like my mom. (This also pisses me off because since we look alike and she’s had many boyfriends and I haven’t, then it MUST be my personality that’s lacking.) But nevertheless, it stung and it stuck. What else can make a young teen girl feel bad about herself? Well, that year I tried to work really hard in school because if I couldn’t be the pretty one, I was gonna live up to my name… And then I started failing math. I had always been good in math, that is, until they mixed the alphabet into it. Now you’ve got a young teen girl who is only known for her brains and good grades who was failing a class. I felt like I didn’t have an identity. My mom really didn’t know how to help because she only really identified with my sister. They would be pretty much the same person if they were the same age. She was so used to one thing that, by the time I was a Freshman (who had never dated before), she started thinking I was ‘different’. 

 
Now, I try to go out of my way to be different. To stand out from the crowd and never blend in. I pride myself on my originality and want to leave an impression on everyone I happen to meet. So, why my mom was shocked that I wasn’t like her, my sister, and a lot of other girls, I don’t know. And since I had been the only shy one in the family; the one who hadn’t dated in middle school like the rest of them, my mom started getting curious. Automatically jumping to conclusions. Thinking the first thing that popped into her mind: that I was gay. I find this incredibly ironic given who she was talking about here. To jump to conclusions about a person who is unpredictable is kind of foolish in my opinion. It was like she was saying, “Hey, since she’s not following this social norm she must be following the next most normal thing I can think of.” And as much as some people hate to admit, being gay is becoming a social norm. We accept it a lot more now than we have in the past so it’s more common to see out in public. And my first reaction, when I had heard this from my sister, was to be automatically defensive. Like, how could you think that? JUST because I can’t get a date I HAVE to be gay? What is your problem? Now don’t get me wrong, I am completely for gay rights and I find everyone who feels the need to attack this idea to be very close-minded. I am in no way a homophobe or dislike homosexuality in any way; quite the opposite. But for some reason I was offended. I think it wasn’t so much for what they thought I was, than for why they thought that. That since I’m not just like them, I don’t date every guy I like or even talk to that many guys, then I must not be attracted to them. I think this is a common misconstruction for many people, actually. But honestly, looking back, I really had no reason to be offended. In a way, I’m kind of proud that that was one of the first things they came up with. Because I know some parents just don’t want to accept that into their family. Not that they’re against the idea, exactly, but that it makes them uncomfortable. And if this had been 20, 30, 40 years ago it wouldn’t have even crossed their minds. That no one saw me with a guy because I was secretly dating the town’s bad boy and didn’t want anyone to know. Or I was seeing a 30 year old man and it was scandalous. Or even, I was pregnant with some boy’s child and now my parents don’t want me to hang around any others. These assumptions would have come up way before the concept of homosexuality. So I am proud that we have come a long way in opening our eyes to new things.
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