Now if only we could get across the fact that we don’t need to compare ourselves. That we don’t need to try to match up to everyone around us. But let’s be honest, if anyone ever tells you that high school isn’t one big contest, they’re lying. Whether we like it or not, intend to do it or not. No matter what, you’re always being compared to someone or comparing other people, yourself. The worst is when you compare yourself to a particular person or even a group of people. Which is ridiculous when you think about it because how are you supposed to match up to more than one person? And the people you choose to compare yourself to are mind-boggling.
For instance, you could score a 90 percent on a test and you feel pretty good about it. Then you see the person to your right got a 70 and you think to yourself, “I studied and got what I deserved. They must’ve slacked off. I’m obviously a better student than them.” You look to your left and they scored 100 percent. And just like that, your thoughts do a 180 and you’re perception changes. You think, “Oh wow, well if they got a perfect score I should’ve been able to. Why didn’t I study more. They must be smarter than me. I really need to be more like them.”
But that’s not the worst part. It’s a whole different mindset when you start comparing yourself to your friends, the people you are supposed to be able to talk to about this. The ones that tell you you’re pretty, that you should ask him out because he’d be lucky to date you. That no, of course that doesn’t make you look fat and yeah, that girl was wearing too much make-up and she does look kinda slutty. But no matter what you hear come out of their mouth, you’re just sitting there thinking, “My best friend is so skinny. What’s her secret?” “I’m so jealous of her hair.” “How does she keep her complexion so clear?” “Where does she get all of her cute clothes? I’m stuck shopping at Wal-Mart.” And, “Oh my God, she’s an entire cup size bigger than me. I hate this!” And that’s just appearance. We also scrutinize and compare our: Grades, jobs, social status, how many people we’ve dated, sexual experience, how much money we have, athletic abilities, morals, and everything in between!
And even if you’re not comparing yourself to anyone, you’re still never satisfied with yourself. I can look at a picture of myself and find 20 flaws and when someone points out one aspect that they think is good, I’ll reject it immediately. And that’s the thing: when you’ve always had low self-esteem and you’re not used to being given compliments, you start getting angry when you get one. Because you’ve had plenty of time to build up this conception of yourself that you start to believe it to be true. It really is horrible but true.
My Thoughts 